What is Ifs therapy?
ifs and your internal stories
When using IFS, we are connecting to your internal world, where the memories of past traumas are stored. Whether manifesting as feelings/emotions or as physical symptoms in your body or as thoughts in your mind, these memories are held by your parts.
The impact of these memories are the stories of your parts.
IFS gives your parts a stage to share and spotlight the effect that the traumatic experiences had on them and how they’ve had to survive.
As a witness to their experience, you will gain a better understanding of why they manifest in the way they do and with that clarity, you can help your burdened parts release the pain of the stories that they hold.
So that where your internal world once felt tightness, heaviness and pain, your parts and you, can feel harmony, balance and strength.
sELF, parts and healing
We are all born into this life with parts, all of whom are joyful, peaceful and content.
Along with our parts, we are endowed with qualities that give us the inherent capacity to heal. In IFS, this is referred to as the the Self.
The Self is a state of being that encompasses compassion, curiosity and connectedness, along with openness, patience and other ways of being that engender trust, agency and healthiness within us and with others.
When we are repeatedly wounded with messages that we are lazy, bad and underserving, a part absorbs these messages. These messages take hold within the part and become the beliefs we have about ourselves that eventually drive our internal system and how we live in this world. These parts are the Exiles. They are the parts of us that carry the most vulnerable burden and pain of these messages, beliefs and wounds.
When an exile is formed, parts around the exile take on roles to protect it. These are the protectors. Roles that protectors take on come in two categories: preemptive/preventive Managers or reactive/extreme Firefighters.
Both types of protectors play a crucial role in our internal system to either 1) preempt and prevent further wounding of the exiles or 2) to react to the unfortunate re-wounding of exiles. Managers are the preemptive/preventative protectors. Firefighters are the reactive protectors.
Examples of manager roles include defending, shielding and guarding the exiles from being hurt again. Examples of Firefighter roles include rage, numbing out, using substances in an effort to extinguish the pain of the exile if the exile is re-wounded.
As your IFS therapist, I will lend Self energy to your system when needed and together we will create a safe space to befriend and honor these protective parts, with the hope that that they will trust enough to give us permission to access the exile they protect.
Once we are with the exile, we can bear witness to what the exile has experienced, the beliefs it took on and the burdens it holds. When the exile feels understood, we will help it unburden the pain, vulnerability and beliefs its been carrying for so many years.
Let’s do this.
Let’s do this.
getting to know your parts with ifs
Exiles
Most vulnerable parts in the system and carries the burdens of deep pain.
managers
Manages your daily life to prevent exiles from being triggered. Examples: Striving, People Pleasers, Internal/External Critics
firefighters
Reacts when exiles are triggered. Examples: Numbs You Out/Dissociation, Uses Substances, Rage
When the exile feels understood, we will help it unburden the pain, vulnerability and beliefs its been carrying for so many years.
If you have any questions or comments about IFS, reach out to me by email or schedule a consultation.